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this post was submitted on 17 May 2026
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Just a random thought, stop buying your kids hamsters. They are weirdly fragile, and die if they are feeling spiteful that day. They don't love being held (but can be chill!), and cleaning their enclosure is gross and nonstop. They are cute, and I do enjoy them when they come into my life (friends/partners have them in occasion).
Instead, and I am dead ass here, get a tarantula (new world). They are the stupidestly simple thing I have ever kept, feed them when you remember to, clean their cage at some point, don't handle them. They live for 5-20years (males live very short lives, females live creepily long) and are absolutely fascinating tank pets. Like fish, with 1/100th the work and expense. Oh also baby spiders are basically free, cus while hamster have large broods they ain't got shit on yet old spider bros.
The biggest downside is that they are literally a spider and that freaks people out, but it freaks them out even more when I tell them unlike the probably tens of other spiders in the house I know exactly where mine are at all times.
Hamsters are specialty pets which require specialty care and knowledge and I wish to God that more people understood this.
Have you tried a pet rock?
Spiders can absolutely become addictive though! I got my first pet jumping spider a couple years ago. I fell down the rabbit hole inadvertently pulling my lifelong arachnophobe partner with me. Our collection now inlcludes hundreds of jumpers, about 60 tarantulas, and a handful of other true spiders. Spiders fuggin rock.
Totally! If you have one spider, it's basically the same effort to care for like 5+ more, and even more than that isn't much additional effort just becomes space.
Even feeding them is like $3/mo and that's with buying feeders at big box store.
And the absolute best part about spider? Zero chance of dumping tens of gallons of water on the floor, or chewing up something valuable, or peeing on a pile of laundry. I guess you could get bitten but for the vast majority of tarantulas your have to stick your hand in front of their face and wiggle your fingers, and even then the majority would freak the fuck out and bolt for their safe place.
Spiders are really the best low/no effort pet.
Jumping spiders make good low maintenance pets as well. They are intelligent, cute, and typically smaller than a tarantula.
My mom, an arachnophobe, had a pet jumping spider who lived on her desk at work.
I have had a couple of these. They only live 1-2 years but they are like tiny dogs!
Meanwhile, my childhood hamster would escape even with books holding the cage door down and once wandered all the way across the house to find us while we were watching TV.
Just make sure to put enrichment in their cases and make sure the case is big enough.