Hey guys, I am in THE MOST difficult spot and I have no where else to turn right now, here’s the story:

I attended New Life Church back in Colorado Springs, I slipped up and ONLY said something once in a group setting (I’m NOT saying I did the right thing). I just merely said one statement about college and the trades NO CUSSING, NO YELLING, etc. (I say this because keep this in the back of your mind for what I am about to share). NOBODY asked me to apologize what they did next made my life SO hard. Then a girl SCREAMED at me for saying that and I said, “Please be patient with me, I have Asperger’s Syndrome.” She rudely states, “Asperger’s Syndrome doesn’t excuse you!” So I insulted her back (again not saying this was the right thing to do). I left the group after that. Then the group leader who’s a guy defended HER and he SCREAMS AND YELLS, “ASPERGER’S SYNDROME DOESN’T EXCUSE YOU! YOU I DON’T NEED TO APOLOGIZE (with a smirk 😏 on his face), I EXPECT ONLY YOU TO BE PERFECT IN THE GROUP AND NO ONE ELSE! YOU WERE BEING SELISH AND IMMORAL!” This was a CONTINUOUS thing and it happened at the Church ⛪️, he did NOT say it just once, it was THE DEEPEST of wounds. I was patient with this man 🧍‍♂️, I tried explaining to him what I meant by this and MY side of the story but he just says, “I don’t NEED to apologize with a smirk 😏 on his face.” He also stated, “I don’t NEED to hear your side of the story!”

Please note: this was a CONTINUOUS pattern of behavior from this man, he would NOT leave me alone and apologize. I went to Church ⛪️ authority told THEM all that had happened, THEY did nothing, I went to my parents about taking this man to the police 👮‍♀️ I told them that THIS was discrimination. My parents and EVERYONE around me said, “That’s NOT discrimination! That’s FREE SPEECH!” And I told them that THIS WAS discrimination. I wanted to go to the police 👮 about this but the Pastor said, “No! Don’t go to the Police 👮, I’ll talk to him.” Then he proceeded to tell me in an email to “forgive” the man who did those things to me. It turned out he NEVER confronted the guy and the guy lied 🤥 and said, “I NEVER said any of those things! I just said the remark in the context of what she just said!”

My patience was at its breaking point, so I finally have had enough and vandalized the man’s property in anger 😡. I shattered his windshield and spray painted the side of his car and house. EVERYONE was in shock 😳that I did that, Police 👮‍♀️ took HIS side EVEN THOUGH he admitted to discriminating against me. They talked to him and decided to charge me. But court came and took MY side through The Neighborhood Justice Center.

In court: So he was REALLY upset 😢 and started crying 😭 in court, the mediator told him, “You KNEW full well of what you were doing, you yelled insults about HIS protected class, he gave you PLENTY of chances to stop 🛑, apologize and make it right, but YOU chose to do wrong. Why didn’t you just stop 🛑? Why didn’t you just apologize?” Then the guy said, “No, an apology wouldn’t have worked in that situation, because HE was being off topic and that means ‘stop!’” He even told me, “You’re SUPPOSED to forgive me and let it go no matter what I say or do!” But court didn’t look at it like that, THEY told him that I did NOT do anything to deserve THAT level of behavior. They ALSO noted that the Pastor, My Parents, etc. ALL knew what to do but decided NOT to do the right thing and the justice system ruled in MY favor saying that the guy who yelled those insults at me were NOT JUSTIFIED by any means and that someone SHOULD HAVE stepped up and told me, “Yes, get the police 👮 involved.” THEN I yelled ALL of those insults BACK at him and ONLY with a slur and then 😏 smirked on my face in the same matter. He told me “This is SO wrong on all levels! You’re breaking the law right now against me! Apologize!”Then I said, “Now PUT YOUR FEET 👣 IN MY SHOES and think about how you made me feel with what you said to me.”

He 👀 looked at me and said, “I can’t!” Then I told him, “Then FORGET me apologizing to you!” Then I said, “I am not SUPER sorry for damaging your property, just only a LITTLE sorry.” Then he looks at me with a 😳 shocked face, “You damaged my property over that?!?” Then I said, “You discriminated against my disability over that?!?”

So you see, NO ONE held this man accountable for his actions EVERYONE was liberal on him, and please note, like I said above, I TRIED apologizing to him. I had been apologizing to this man spiritually for what I had done for years. But this man’s sin was NOT a papercut, it had infected me SO deep to the point where just these past couple of weeks, I went to the Lord about it, The Lord opened my eyes 👀 to fairness and scriptures on fairness. I told God, “Well Lord, I tried, this man is saying I OWE him an apology but HE WILL NEVER apologize himself for HIS selfish behavior and actions. So I think and believe it’s fair I NOT apologize to this man for MY actions anymore.” I further told the Lord, “Let the Angels write this down Lord, I’m ok with with this. All I’m asking is that you see it from MY perspective BEFORE you condemn me and judge 🧑‍⚖️ me accordingly. I don’t NEED to apologize to this man anymore, this man has TORMENTED me for being disabled. He NEVER once considered how I felt about the situation and NEVER apologized.” So something in between God and I is I am asking about my place in Heaven, I keep hearing words in the back of my mind such as “Safety, Protection, Forgiveness” when I ask him.

Now my question is this, is it fair to NOT apologize to someone like this after I gave him SEVERAL chances to apologize for what he had done? The Justice System DID say I reacted out of provocation and NOT pure evil or pre meditation.