Coffee house dates are realistic. Many places are open well into the evening, especially chains. And while privacy isn’t high, neither is the cost.

And the point of a first date is not to spend money, but to gauge compatibility and interest.

Any guy that spends big bucks on the first date is setting himself up for failure by putting up a high bar that the woman is loathe to go beneath in the future. He will be caught in the “dancing monkey” trap, forced to implement ever more expensive displays just to stay above that bar.

By keeping the bar low in the beginning, a man filters for quality and substance and against being treated like an ATM. Those women who are just foodies or who have unrealistic expectations self-select themselves out of contention, leaving only the serious, well-adjusted, pragmatic, and realistic women still at the table.