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me_irl (thelemmy.club)
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[-] bridgeburner@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

The one who is deluded is you. First, you definitely can't guarantee your kids will live in the same town as you when you are retired and need help. Second of all, having kids costs a shitload of money. This money you can use instead to build up savings so that later in your life you can afford to hire someone to take care of you.

[-] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

Life costs money and poor people are fine having kids. People really need to stop that excuse.

I stand by what I said. Statistically and anecdotally if you have no family you are relying on the state and strangers. The state specifically in America can no longer be trusted and strangers don't give a shit without a paycheck. You planning on being rich?

[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

So you're gonna pretend friends and neighbors don't exist? Lol. Pretending the only two options for a support system is your immediate family or the state is kind of a wild.

[-] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

Lol. So let me get this straight. Your neighbour is going to drop everything to take you to a hospital appointment? Friends? I love whatever magical world you live in.

Let's flip the question. Your parents get sick. They're retired. Fixed income. What are you doing?

I know for me my sister and I have been juggling taking time off work to run them to appointments (note there are a lot of fucking appointments). I don't think you or any young person is truly appreciating what is involved with taking care of our elders.

[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

It's wild that's that you seem to think "helping your neighbor" means dropping everything and catering to their every whim. This is a very warped view of the world. Did a narcissistic parent "teach you" that love means catering to their every whim and your life comes second to theirs or something? Maybe it's some other deep-seeded emotional issue that is skewing your perspective.

I would absolutely drive a friend to a doctor appointment, or watch their kids when they go out of town, or help them move. That's why they are called "friends". And if I drove a friend to the doctor a couple times, but they always refused to help me, then I would no longer consider them my friend.

Maybe you just don't have a good support network near you so you assume it's the same for everybody else.

[-] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 week ago

Perhaps you don't understand the limits of elderly people and what they need including help with appointments, getting meds, groceries, etc especially when they don't live in a city center.

Seems that you're the narcaccist only thinking of your own narrow worldview.

Would you help a friend or neighbour in that same scenario when it's 2 appointments a week? 6 times a month? When the hospital or doctor is 30 minutes to an hour away?

I appreciate your optimism and it's possible you may do this. You're the exception not the norm.

If you can't get out of your narrow mindset to see this that's not on me. Best of luck in the future. I hope I'm wrong but a lot of you child free adults are going to be absolutely fucked when you're elderly.

[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Every accusation is a confession, you narcissist. Again you're showing your hand by assuming only elderly can take of elderly people for some reason?.. I bet your parents are horribly narcissistic too, probably contributed to your horribly warped world view. I'd say have a nice day, but I'm sure you could never see it that way.

[-] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 week ago

Jesus Christ you're deluded. You're doubling down in every way possible to justify the fact that when you get old you're fucked. I can't help that and whatever you need to do to rationalize that it's on you.

This is not just you. Every single one of you childfree people have a reckoning unless you can get society to double down on communal care which is currently not the norm.

Were you even an adult during COVID? Did you see it decimate old people in retirement homes like a cattle farm? The safest elderly were the ones in the care of their loved ones outside of being dumped in a long term care facility.

Best of luck.

[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I think I see it now. You have a parent who has no support system other than you and your sibling(s). Which then forces you to bend over backwards catering to them cuz you love them, they're your parent. But you get resentful you have to do all this work for them though. You think "they wouldn't be able to survive without me". Which then gets extrapolated to "anybody without kids won't be able to survive on their own". And you can't vent this frustration to the person you're caring for so it comes out online.

It's your parent that has basically no support system, not you. But even people with kids can have no support system, having a kid doesn't automatically mean they will care for you in old age.

[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Every accusation my friend :)

You believe that when people get old they are fucked. And you just assume I don't have kids because I pointed out there's more support than just the state and immediate family. Hell, if you're part of a church that's another level of support.

Family, friends, church, neighbors, immediate family, extended family... these are all layers of support. Somehow you think I'm trying to say that means they will 100% always be available for my use (sounds like your narcissistic protection here). When in reality each layer is meant to help insulate, but not completely eliminate, the need to go it alone. Yes, at the end of the day we are alone and only have ourselves to rely on, but that doesn't have to be the only way you live, contrary to what you seem to think.

Just because you have no support system doesn't mean everyone in the world is the same. Maybe you're angry that other people have robust support networks while you don't. Idk.

this post was submitted on 10 May 2026
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me_irl

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