All the Germans I've met speak English. Granted it's all huge nerds in engineering but still, from what I gather, two or three languages isn't uncommon.

I was raised in a region that leaned heavily into it's German heritage. Americanized and bastardized yes, but for example my tiny high school only offered Spanish and German for foreign languages. I looked into citizenry by ancestry and found I didnt qualify because my most recent 'German' ancestor emigrated from Prussia in the mid-1800s. Said ancestor is buried in the cemetery of the village church I attended for kindergarten. Of course, none of that provides me any familiarity with modern Germany. I have a slight advantage with pronunciation and not much else.

I investigated Sweden first actually, and I'd be happy to end up there. I think Scandinavia fits my political and societal opinions better than Germany (plus has WAY better metal 🤘). I have a BSc in engineering and was looking into Master's programs; University of Göthenburg has the faculty and research I'd like to pursue. The language barrier there was considerably more intimidating despite the reputation for accommodation you mentioned. Germany also has better resources for skilled foreigners looking for work.

I want out of the States. Wherever I end up I intend to pursue fluency and integration. Germany just seemed like the simplest route to me other than joining Ukraine's foreign legion as an engineer.

For permanent residence you will eventually need to learn the native language though, that is a requirement in most (if not all?) countries.

The general issue is my poor ability to self-direct my learning. External structure and occasional feedback helps a lot. Another obstacle lies within the learning resources; most focus on speaking German whereas I'd prefer to build a foundational understanding of German. Hence the grammar primer. Dunno if I have the luxury of time to pursue that anymore, however.

The funny thing is: Gender has more to do with etymology and sounds than with actual meaning. "Der Bus" is masculine, because it comes from Latin "Omnibus", which ends in -us and is therefore masculine.

I speak 5 languages and have some basics in others but German, no.
While I speak Flemish/Dutch (also a notoriously difficult, illogical and unnecessarily complicated language) which is Germanic and closely related I had zero affinity with it.
I immediately said no, this isn't going to work.