beat the fascists
The people telling boys to bottle up their emotions are the fascists. I don't mean that everyone who has said this is ideologically fascist, but that's a practice that, like you said, it only causes problems in society. The fascist impulse, the Hitler particle exists inside a lot of regular people and is reinforced by our social institutions especially the exploiting workplace.
There is a larger cultural issue at play here, but culture is dependent on the economic factors, and vice-versa