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homeassistant
(thelemmy.club)
Share your self-made stuff and half-baked projects here.
Also check out !diy@beehaw.org
There is also a related XMPP chat.
I have one for a long-ish time, started really using it now. It is daunting at first (still is) but I can feel the potential. You just have to invest some time in getting to know it and how to set it up.
Proprietary apps might be more user friendly, but I guess that's how they get you. Also, I imagine HA is easier if you want to set up something overly specific.
I'm still in the daunting phase though.