[a sign reads FEMINIST CONFERENCE next to a closed door, a blue character shrugs and says…]
I don't care

[next to the same door, the sign now says RESTRICTED FEMINIST CONFERENCE WOMEN ONLY, there are now four blue characters desperately banging on the door, one is reduced to tears on the floor, they are shouting]
DISCRIMINATION
SO UNFAIR!!!!
LET US IINN!!
MISANDRY

https://thebad.website/comic/until_it_affects_me

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[–] [S] 86 points 4 months ago* (57 children)

From personal experience posting my content on multiple platforms, Lemmy's userbase is by far the most fragile one regarding sexism.

Yes, even worse than Reddit, where this very comic had its comment section locked by the rcomics mods due to the hundreds of pissed off dudes crying in the comments. At least they get downvoted on Reddit. Lemmy really is dudebro land, and needs to fix that if it wants to grow further (which I would like as a Lemmy enjoyer).

I've said this a few times already, and it usually makes Lemmy users uncomfortable, so I'll keep repeating it as often as necessary.

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  • [+] [M] -33 points 4 months ago (18 children)

    Us Lemmy dudebros obviously cannot fully appreciate your level of rage-baiting.

    So I’ll tell ya what: since we are too fragile for your upscale messaging, feel free to take it somewhere else. Your content, and you, are not welcome here at !comicstrips.

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  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago

    This is insane overreaction.

    This is Lemmy, we don't have advertisers to appeal to so we don't have to sterilize our content for their sake.

    This person's posts ruffles feathers. That's okay, people can have their feathers ruffled. I don't see any significant harassment, name calling, hate speech as a result of this poster or their posts, so I can't fathom any reason to react this way. People are allowed to be uncomfortable, people are allowed to disagree; the existence of controversy or disagreement or discussion in and of itself is not indicative of a problem.

    We have got to stop acting like approaching a caution sign on the road is the same thing as experiencing a car accident.

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    if you have a personal issue with the OP and you use your moderator flair to try and threaten them, you are not the type of individual that should be a moderator, imho.

    the post does not violate the instance rules and neither does their behavior.

    this is not a great look.

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

    Worth noting that none of the incels in this thread got a threat (or a ban) like I did.

    And that the example of my past "problematic" behavior by the other mod was an old unmoderated thread full of racists and white supremacists in which some of my comments were retroactively deleted for being uncivil, but none of the racists in that thread got moderated or banned, somehow making me the main issue there.

    Consciously or not, it means their demand is not "be civil" but rather "we're protecting bigots, and anyone who gets annoyed and talks back to them will be dealt with". It's just flaccid tone policing, and somehow extends to comics too, not just comments.

    As I told them, I'll be nice and pretend I didn't read this comment chain, and will continue posting my comics as usual. However, I won't stop clapping back at bigots if they remain unmoderated. Let's hope the new mods will learn something from being badly ratioed for their takes in here.

    This mod team needs the oversight of someone who has actual experience moderating a big community (and doesn't act like a dork the instant they get a sliver of power over others). If they aren't up to the task and keep threatening people who are trying to push bigots out instead of the bigots themselves, I'll have a chat with the instance admins. Don't want yet another Lemmy community to fragment, dull, or die.

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  • [–] 31 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    It’s the ultimate consequence of going all in on recruiting people from reddit, which I have been trying to tell people for years. You’re not making the fediverse better, you’re making it more reddity. There’s no point in leaving reddit while bringing the worst of the culture.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    There's also some element that "alternative sites" tend to accumulate the people banned from the primary site. Luckily the strong left-leaning initial crowd kept most of the bigotry at bay during the formative years, but I really dislike that in general-purpose instances, many have failed to create much original culture distinct from reddit. Lemmy isn't reddit, and that can be a good thing.

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago (19 children)

    I appreciate you posting this kind of stuff!

    Lemmy really is dudebro land

    I feel this every time there is a post or comment about how women should have bigger pockets in our jeans and pants.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (18 children)

    Are there really dudes defending fake/small pockets on women’s clothes? That’s a new level of…I don’t even know what.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago* (17 children)

    lol Yeah it happens. They don’t so much defend them, more argue with women that it’s our fault for buying pants with small pockets, even though there aren’t many options. Or since women like our pants so tight, pockets would look wrong to stuff them full, when all we want is to be able to carry a few items like ID, credit card, and a small amount of cash. And there is always someone who links to a search for “women’s pants deep pockets” on websites like Old Navy or The Gap thrown around like that actually means those pants have deep pockets, when they frequently have those useless half pockets. Or that women should just wear men’s pants even though they don’t fit women’s bodies and are uncomfortable.

    It’s a misunderstanding of what women are actually asking for, so instead of admitting they don’t understand, they double down and argue with women that we don’t really want that 🤷‍♀️

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago* (15 children)

    I HATE tight pants. It's so offensive that women's clothing is so restrictive and tight, meanwhile men can wear the baggiest clothing and nobody blinks an eye

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    I am sorry you have experienced that. It is my hope that we have simply created a place where people feel more comfortable discussing and expressing uninformed opinions with an open mind toward learning and conversation rather than a safe place for bigots.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago*

    I think at least part of that comes from the fact that the most vocal feminist and anti-misogynist (and ant-racism, etc.) instances get defederated by the admins of big instances like .world which tends to concentrate the more reactionary elements into instances like .world even though it has the larger user base. Since the people who would tend to be the most vocal fighting back against the dudebro types are in a different section of the fediverse that .world cuts itself off from, those voices aren't heard and so the bigger chunk of lemmy (.world) gets a well deserved reputation for being worse than reddit in terms of crying, fragile (and white) men being overrepresented in the user base.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Luckily I haven't been exposed to much of that behaviour on my local instance. Which instances/communities are you finding all these jerks at? (I've blocked a couple for unrelated reasons so maybe I'm not seeing them.)

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