If each of us organizes in our local communities and gets people to pool the small amount of wealth that they have together to form a co-op where the leader is elected by the people who joined, and then all of these co-ops join together and each of the leaders elects a leader, and continue this process until we have the working class of the country join this, then all the control is in the hands of the workers who can then directly vote to purchase important companies like homebuilders, food producers, etc. would this not pull the commanding heights away from capital and into the hands of the workers (replicating China's tiered merit system. If existing capital tries to stop it, as they inevitably will, then we have justification for revolution and the leaders of these co-ops can become the new vanguard. Am I just to naive to believe that this actually has a chance at doing anything or do I have a viable strategy. If not where did I go wrong and what could be improved (or should the whole thing just be scrapped)
But don't people believe that people on the Epstein list need to die and are just too afraid to do anything? I got into communism through thinking about things from a utilitarian perspective. Me trading my life for someone who has committed and will continue to commit violent acts is a net positive utility even if it doesn't cause the revolution. Honestly I don't really care wether I live or die anymore. Even if my life is objectively fine living in the current system is like living while waiting until I die. So if I'm going to die eventually I might as well die in a useful way right? I am bad at socializing irl so any organizing I will do will probably produce a negligible effect. I feel my death in this way is more objectively valuable than my life. If this is wrong then why?
Evil people are more replaceable than you are. The system has and will continue to produce evil people. You will not get rid of them unless you get rid of the entire system. For every Epstein you off there are ten more waiting to take his place. A good hearted, well educated revolutionary helping people and helping to advance the working class struggle can make much more of a difference for humanity than the elimination of dozens of these evil psychopaths.
For some historical perspective, i would advise you read about the history of the Narodnik movement and their lack of success with the strategy of individual attacks on representatives of the ruling class, vs. the lessons that the Bolsheviks learned from this and Lenin's proven successful strategies for revolutionary organizing. When individuals act alone they are weak and unlikely to effect change. We are strongest when we act collectively.
If you are interested in a starting point for your reading, here is a piece by Lenin that quite thoroughly criticizes the strategy of individual adventurism.
Some context on what Narodism was:
Link
Go touch grass. Join a club or group even if it is not political just be part of you local community or environment. Maybe consider a hobby or something that can get your mind off things and get help build up your confidence.