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When women have a crush on men (thelemmy.club)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 15 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I tell my husband I love him 18000 times a day, and incessantly compliment him. Been there for thick and thin. I definately compliment him wayyy more than he compliments me.

"if they didnt want to be there they wouldnt be"

how the hell do you stay in a realtionship, married for that matter, if you dont know your partner likes you?

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    It's called codependency, and it's running rampant amongst my peers.

    My highschool buddy has been "dating" (they're basically married at this point) his girl for over 15 years, and they can't stand each other. No kids, not married, no real obligations. Hate each other most days, and terrified of the idea of breaking up. It's fucking surreal at a bbq.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    because you don't have other options.

    lots of people, men and women both, are only in a relationship because they don't feel they have any better options. they believe, and they might be right, that they will never find a future partner, and/or any future partner won't be as good.

    a lot of people stay in crappy unhappy relationships because it's better than being alone or fear of being single.

    and a lot of people have no model of a happy relationship to compare against. when i was young, in my hometown, literally nobody had happy parents. when i went to college i was SHOCKED at being around people who had happy parents and visiting their homes sometimes and seeing families that actually loved one another instead of HATED each other.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 child)

    I watched my mother's parents be like this. blows my mind folks, idk. I don't understand the whys, well, I do, but, why live and stay in misery? Fear?

    Maybe after all these comments, I understand what the original context means (in some way), but that is not funny, it's sad. Like I said, my mother's parents hated eachother, always bickered, yet always stayed together. When my grandfather passed away, my grandmother became a wholley different person, in a good way. It was like years of burden were lifted, leaving her spirit lighter. Why not give yourself that gift earlier than old age? She spent her whole life with someone she didnt like, and who didnt like her, why? Because jane down the street will talk gossip? Because you may have to sit alone with yourself for a time?

    You free your partner too, to find someone else better fitting, as well as for yourself. "if you love them let them go" and all that. It's not even all selfish to sever a connection with a person not right for you. It is good for both parties.

    When one door closes, you get oppourtunity for many other doors. Maybe because I have faced death a few times early, I dont carry these feelings. I am still a bit co dependent to be honest, but not in this way. Life is too short to stay in situations that dont serve your own peace. Hope, you dont hope for a person to change, you hope you yourself can, and move foward to something new, and better fitting.

    Its like keeping a pair of jeans that fit you when you were 20, and "one day they will fit me again" meanwhile, youve not lost any weight, or became any smaller in the decades youve held on. Just give the pants to someone they will fit, so they can still have life, if even not with your ass in them, but someone elses. Instead, you hold on, until the jeans are eaten by moths in the draw, and the stitching weakens, and the pants wont ever see life again. Its selfish to stay in this way

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    some people cannot function as independent human beings. i had girlfriends who basically never in their entire life were ever self-sufficient and when I date I constantly meet women who are looking for a father/caretaker, not a boyfriend/husband.

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