Soo I kinda need some help here. Ever since I've been working, it's been hard for me to hold a job. For reference, I've been working since I was 16 years old and I am turning 24 this week. I got my license to become an insurance adjuster when I was 19 years old, and have been trying to do that since, plus some other minimum wage stuff during off seasons. Since then I have been fired from multiple adjusting firms, insurance companies, and have walked out of multiple places, to the point where my license almost means nothing because most places know exactly who I am. I under perform, I have to meet people face to face which 90% of the time ends up bad because I'll say things I am absolutely not allowed to be saying, only for the sake of not "feeling awkward" in the moment, which only makes things worse in the present and future (had a gun pulled on me once). I don't really know how to describe it, and I don't know how to stop it. I've tried working with food, but the multiple smells and garbage you have to deal with consistently makes me sick to my stomach and when I go home I throw up for hours at a time. I've tried working in sales, but got fired from there because I hung up on a lady because my brain blanked out when trying to do a sales pitch (mind you, they even gave us a script to read in case that happens but for some reason my brain wouldn't let me say anything). I always tell myself, "oh yeah I won't fuck it up this time, I know what I'm going to not do this time," and then proceed to fuck it up. Like in my mind I know what to do, but I can't execute it. I don't know, am I just lazy?? I sometimes feel like I'm lazy, but sometimes I also feel like I just physically can't do things. I'm really conflicted, and I have a son I need to provide for, which is already hard enough for me. It's hard, and I'm honestly struggling. Mentally, financially, physically. My mom put me on medicine when I was a kid, but it messed with my appetite to the point where I wouldn't eat for multiple weeks at a time, and only ate when I was forced to, so my doctor said no more medicine. This post doesn't even explain all the times and reasons of me being fired and me walking out of jobs (if I explained every single one it would be like 3 more paragraphs the length of this post). Any advice helps. Thank you
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I'm dealing with this issue right now myself. I have a long line of jobs that never worked out. The fact is that autistic people have the highest rate of unemployment of any group of disabled people, up to 90% in some places. So firstly you should not be hard on yourself about it. The world just hasn't been built with us in mind.
That being said, I do believe that there are niches for people like us out there where we can survive, perhaps even thrive, the trick is finding them however. And that's where we have to put in a lot of work and problem solving. I'll share a couple of tips based on what I have been doing.
So the first step that I would recommend--assuming that you haven't done so already--is to give yourself a good foundation of knowledge on your conditions. Learn as much as you can about them, from books, websites, articles, research papers, and hanging out with online communities like this one (Mastodon has some great communities if you look for the hashtags of #ActuallyAutistic and #ActuallyADHD among others). That's what I've been doing for the past couple of years. I would also suggest guiding that research in a neuroaffirmative direction, that is, sources that understand and respect neurodiversity. I have found a ton of resources that way, I can give a couple here:
https://www.autisticality.co.uk/autisticality-content This one is a good introduction to a wide variety of related topics in bite-sized chunks.
https://embrace-autism.com/ This one talks about testing for autism (and other things), but also has good resources on both autism and adhd. It's all by doctors who are themselves autistic.
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autism-awareness-acceptance/ This article gives an idea of what the world would look like if it was made for us, so you can better recognize those rare pockets of it when you find them.
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0147040 If you prefer something more in-depth, here's a research paper on the barriers to employment for autistic people.
https://www.autismchrysalis.com/free/ A collection of free resources you might find helpful.
The next thing I'd suggest is looking for support resources in your area. I was quite surprised to find out that there were autism support organizations right in my own city. Try searching for just autism support organization, and specifically autism employment support. There are many organizations in some countries that work to help autistic people find employment. Even if you find one though, their focus may be too narrow to be able to help. But it doesn't hurt to look. But more general autism support orgs can potentially help in many ways, from workshops, housing, social groups, coaching, etc.
And for that matter there are a number of services online as well for autistic and ADHD people. Some are free, many cost. Workshops and coaching tend to be the two most common I find.
One thing I have done to help me look for work is to make a list of my strengths (e.g. creative, good with computers, good problem solving, etc.), as well as my "accommodations". By analyzing my past jobs I was able to make a list of conditions that contributed to my ability to function at a job (such as low and local lighting, being able to wear what I want as opposed to a uniform, flexible time, a job that is authentic to my skills, interests and values, etc.). While none of mine are strictly necessary (some people have necessary ones), I did find that the more of them I had in any particular job, the longer I lasted in that job (outside factors notwithstanding). I believe that having such a list can help you find a job that will last longer for you, even if it is harder to find. You might even be able to figure out a kind of "dream job" with these lists, but more likely they will help you assess how good any particular job you do find is for you.
Anyway, there's a lot more I could say, but I'll leave this here and you can ask any questions you may have. I hope that something here helps and wish you the best of luck!