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[-] RickyRigatoni@piefed.social 161 points 3 months ago

The average american only eats 2 ounces of cheese a day.

Charles Entertainment Cheese, who eats 7 billion pounds of cheese a day, is an outlier and should not be counted.

[-] ceenote@lemmy.world 57 points 3 months ago

When reached for comment, he replied "Please, Charles Cheese is my father. Call me Chuck."

[-] blitzen@lemmy.ca 32 points 3 months ago

Reminds me of a joke (kinda) thought I had years ago. Chuck E Cheese should open a fine dining white tablecloth restaurant called Charles E. Fromage.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago

I'm fully on board with this, provided they offer a prix fixe, 12-course meal.

  1. Hors d’Oeuvre: Parmesan bites with marinara

  2. Amuse-Bouche: Stuffed banana peppers

  3. Soup Course: Minestrone

  4. Salad Course: Caesar

  5. Appetizer: Cheesy bread with artichoke cheese dip

  6. Fish Course: Slice of anchovy pizza

  7. First Main Course: Slice of Hawaiian pizza

  8. Palate Cleanser: Orange sherbet

  9. Second Main Course: Slice of meat-lovers' pizza

  10. Cheese Course: Mozzarella sticks

  11. Dessert: Cinnamon rolls

  12. Mignardise: Chocolate lava cake and medium-roast Folger's coffee

Vintages:

1985 Coca Cola

1997 Pepsi Cola

1987 RC Cola

1996 Dr Pepper

1999 Mr Pibb

1979 Mountain Dew

2004 Moutain Dew Code Red

2004 Mountain Dew Baja Blast

2001 Sprite

1998 Fresca

2003 Barques Root Beer

2003 A&W Cream Soda

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

i'm requesting french onion, not minestrone

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

"Very well. Let me just go and confer with our chef to make sure we can accommodate your request."

[Distant, muted sounds from kitchen, including plates crashing and yelling.] "...Che Cazzo? Vai a dire a quel figlio di puttana di andare a farsi fottere, e se quel pezzo di merda chiede un'altra sostituzione nel menu, digli che gli taglio le palle io stesso..."

"I apologize, but the chef...uh...respectfully declines menu substitutions at this time."

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

theres more cheese in the french onion tho

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

We'll get you some parmesan for the soup.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

It better be like 90 pounds of it

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

At that point, isn't just a cheese salad with soup dressing?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I didn't hear any complaining though.

also why didn't we make the eleventh course fondue? that nacho cheese machine has good output

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

I have to admit, that's pretty inspired. A nacho fondue served from one of those 7-Eleven machines with the plastic bladder full of a cheese-adjacent semisolid substance would be way more on brand.

[-] cazssiew@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago
[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I wish I could takes credit for that one, but I tried to spell it from memory. I knew there was a 'q' in it, but not much more.

[-] Duckingold@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago
[-] blitzen@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 months ago

I doubt they beat me to the idea, but they certainly did on executing it. That is glorious!!!

[-] grue@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago
[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

Charles Divertissement Fromage, non?

[-] oatscoop@midwest.social 9 points 3 months ago

I don't think we should count Wisconsin either. They have so much they wear it on their heads.

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Speak for yourself, I personally eat 100lbs each day (200lbs on Sundays)

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

please do not doxx me

this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2026
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