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dating (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 8 months ago by to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[–] 144 points 8 months ago (13 children)

The apps are literally designed to keep you single

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  • [–] 105 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    While yes, that is the case, I cannot help but feel it's not the app's fault this time

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  • [–] 25 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    The Algorithm used to match people isn't designed to encourage healthy and normal conversations. It's designed to encourage people to spend more time on the apps (and, eventually, more money).

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  • [–] 18 points 8 months ago (7 children)

    I used to think this. Then I went on some dates, I made connections, etc.

    But only once I started paying. The apps are built to maximize profit.

    Hinge > Boo > Tinder > Bumble.

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  • [–] 12 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    This is exactly how it works - I became single after 13 years and so had no previous experience with dating apps, so I decided to go all in and get one month’s subscription to Hinge, Bumble and Grindr. Before the end of the month I was concurrently dating five people (four women and one man) as a bi man in his thirties. Shit was pretty cash.

    A lot of people asked me why I was so successful and I told them it’s because I paid for the subscriptions. For what ended up amounting to around $100AUD I got to date a bunch of people, had some great dates and great sex, and one of those five people is now my long term partner with whom I’m living. She was one of the ‘top recommended’ people on Hinge and the algorithm really got it right!

    YMMV but paying for the apps actually provides quite a good service.

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  • [–] 11 points 8 months ago*

    I think people's biggest fear with paying for the apps is that they'll end up in a situation where they are just throwing good money after bad and not getting anything for it. Then you get into the sunk cost fallacy and it's really difficult to get yourself out of that headspace.

    The problem is the apps say that they have recommendations that you only have to pay to unlock but I don't believe them.

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  • [–] 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Most apps are owned by like 2 companies really

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  • [–] 6 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Yeah and they all suck as a result.

    I keep meaning to have a proper look into it and see if there are any actual dating site / apps that are independent. It's a massive pain because usually you can't really tell if an app is going to be any good or if it's just another clone until after you've already signed up. It's quite the time investment.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago*

    Yea most of them suck

    I tried Lovetastic and liked the fact that they don’t use pictures and it’s mostly based on text

    They don’t seem to have advanced algorithms that are here to fuck you

    But hey, I met my SO on a relatively niche but non ethical dating app. It was filed with ads and badly optimized but I figured out the algorithm wouldn’t be all ELO type of shit, and it worked after some time

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