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this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2026
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Any chance to get a doctor to diagnose you and prescribe something?
I did get an official depression diagnosis... by a PCP/ General Practicianer, not a psychaitrist.
I was on Lexapro for a bit, then my emotions got out of control and I misused it... overdose on Lexapro... (in attempt to feel better, not really a suicide attempt), nothing really happened except I feel a bit weird and like... obviously I did not die. I did this several times... I told the doctor about these incidents, I was told to see an actual psychaitrist... so this is where I am right now...
Idk who to trust lol
Fun fact: My mom keeps blaming me for my "self harm" and she said it was my fault for overdosing.
Hmm guess who was the one that set up this toxic home environment?
But I can't even confront her about it... the power dynamic is so different... mom is always right about everything...
This is just typical Chinese culture... nobody really understand mental health... it's just so stigmitized.
You're either completely insane, or you're just lazy and "lying and faking it" to get out of responsibilities.
I honestly have this morbid curiosity and wonder how my mom would feel if I actually kms.
I wonder if she would actually feel bad about me dying.
I understand why you’d feel that way. As far as we know though it doesn’t look like you’d get to find out if she did or not. I suspect she would! Bad parenting can still be well intended with really poor execution.
More importantly, I suspect others would miss you.
And the main thing that has kept me un-un-aliving is the research showing how (1) those who attempt it, most often regret it and (2) that an objectively life-changing decision is being made on impulse. Think long term if you can friend.