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Sporadic writing exercise #3 - Building tension (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Taking a bit of a breather, here's the next exercise!

Random Prompt: Frying pan

Here is your task:

#Write a piece as to be unsatisfying as possible.

Some tips:

The goal of this is to practice build tension, even if there's no way to satisfying release it.
Focus more on the how/now than the payoff later.

You don’t have to post your piece, but if you do, I’m happy to provide some basic feedback. I encourage others to do the same, so we can all learn from each other.

Bonus: If there’s a particular thing you want to work on, let me know in the comments, & I’ll see if I can tailor future tasks to accommodate our needs.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

+1 for using random prompt!

I can feel the frustration, anger and general kidsarefuckingstupid vibe from beyond the screen. However, to make it even more unsatisfying, you could show a more conscious decision for the kid to be dumb; Let her reach towards towards the frying pan....but to grab some jam to put on top (who even puts jam on grilled cheese?). But overall, you've definitely captured the grinding-teeth moments of raising a child (I hope I never see this IRL).

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Grilled cheese with jam and ham would be a monte cristo. Underrated brunch sammy :)

Thanks for the feedback. I definitely considered adding some kid-troll, just to see how far she can push him... I couldn't quite work out how to convey Dad's frustration from 3rd person, or her teasing from 1st. Maybe a little 'was that a mischievous gleam in her eye, grabbing the spatula off the frying pan while somehow ignoring the pan itself?'

Prompt definitely helped. I feel like my big hurdle is coming up with an idea in the first place, and how to build tension around a frying pan just clicked.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Hmmm.... I'll include more prompts next time then! :D