this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
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There's a difference between alleviating someone's fears when they are overthinking an interaction, and dismissing someone's concerns as exaggeration or imaginings.
Maybe you are only doing the former. But your comment was wall-to-wall red flags.
And the fact that you thought I was just talking about people being nasty, suggested part of the problem I am referring to. I am glad at least you are aware of the systemic issues trans people face, most people are not.
Yeah. This right here is the exact thing I'm talking about.
Because I point out those policies, and I get told I'm exaggerating about their effects and impact. Or I point out the transphobic rhetoric of politicians, celebrities, and influencers, and I get told I'm exaggerating about their effects and impact.
And I know multiple trans women in my friend group in a major world city who have had assholes try and physically mess with them. It's not as rare as you perhaps want to believe. It's not up to you to decide what other people are concerned about. It's one thing to alleviate someone's fears by reassuring them that assault is not likely. But it's another thing entirely to dismiss their concerns as overblown.
You can sod right off with this condescension, yeah? Trans people put up with inordinate amounts of crap, just trying to get by day to day. We get harassed and accused of the most vile things, we get discriminated against in healthcare and employment, we're a political football and we see our lives being debated on the news on a weekly basis, we get kicked out or have to flee our homes.
We aren't porcelain. We aren't delicate. Quite the opposite.
But yeah sometimes when we're with people we think we can trust, and maybe experience a little compassion for a change. And when we think we have found a space where we can let our guard down a bit, we can get a bit touchy about defending that. But can you blame us?