You seem to think that if something is indirect it isn't harmful, so being openly racist with your friends is OK as long as you're not telling the people you're dehumanizing directly? Sounds like you would think cheating on your wife is OK as long as she didn't find out.

Personally, I don't think there is any good or acceptable racial hatred, and pretending that there is is what got the neofascists so much political clout around the world.