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Creation Of A New Trans Oriented ENM Community Has Begun (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Hello,

Today I am pleased to announce the beginning of a new trans/NB oriented Ethically Non-Monogamous community here on Blahaj.

Goal is to have a safe place for trans people who are ENM to post about ENM, interest in ENM or about their ENM relationships. If you have any questions about ENM etc feel free to check out [email protected]

Thank you

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[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

@[email protected]

We don't agree with that definition of Relationship Anarchy completely.

Hi, we're relationship anarchists and instead for us it's more about not basing our relationships on what society thinks they should be. We can have labels but they're not automatic and don't necessarily mean much, what matters more is what we agree upon those labels mean, ignoring what society etc defines them as.

We also don't agree with hierarchy at all in relationships, this means that friends are not less or more important than partners and vice versa, and one partner is not more important than another. Instead we tend to go for temporary priorities but nobody is overall more important than anybody else.

It can work for either those who are polyamorous or monogamous as well as long as the comitment of no hierarchy and not basing your relationships on predefined ideas of what they should be or look like.

On the polyamory side it tends not to fit with hierarchical polyamory (hopefully obviously), so it's more towards the solo polyamory or non hierarchical polyamory end.

We tend not to go for the relationship escalator, nor pushing each other into things etc, instead it is very consensual, unlike other relationship types, everything is discussed and consented to, and if it isn't it doesn't happen.

There's a manifesto written by Andie Nordgren who popularised it: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

There's also this site: https://relationship-anarchy.com/ and the youtube channel AnRel (Anarcho Relating) that explains all this more in depth.

But yes, the labels thing isn't really much to do with it. Instead it's more about defining our own relationships as we want to, not how others want us to.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

We also don't agree with hierarchy at all in relationships, this means that friends are not less or more important than partners and vice versa, amd one partner is not more important than another. Instead we tend to go for temporary priorities but nobody is overall more important than anybody else.

Yeah, my understanding of relationship anarchy is that it is principally about the lack of hierarchy.

We tend not to go for the relationship escalator, nor pushing each other into things etc, instead it is very consensual, unlike other relationship types, everything is discussed and consented to, and if it isn't it doesn't happen.

I don't think you're being very fair here. I have seen people in all styles of relationship get this wrong, similarly for getting it right. I think this is the way it should work no matter how your relationship is negotiated.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't think you're being very fair here.

Yeah, that's uh, fair. We guess a better way to put it is more than any other way of relating it is supposed to be that way, other relationship types are not inherently set up that way nor have that as an inherent guideline, is that okay?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah, that seems more accurate to me. It does seem to be prioritised a lot within relationship anarchy.

this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
40 points (95.5% liked)

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