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Hopefully this will help someone. This seems to work for me. Subscribed communities update, I am able to post. I'm the only user right now on my server. NPM took me a bit of messing around with the config but I think I have everything working, some of this may be redundant / non functional but I don't have the will to go line by line to see what more I can take out. Here is how I have it configured. Note that some things go to the Lemmy UI port and some to the Lemmy port. These should be defined in your docker-compose if you're using that. (Mine is below)
On the first tab in NPM, "Details" I have the following:
On the Custom Locations page, I added 4 locations, you have to do one for each directory even though the ip/ports are the same.
Repeat the above for "/feeds", "/pictrs", and "/nodeinfo". The example file they give also says to have ".well_known" in there but as far as I know that's just for Let's Encrypt which NPM should be handling for us.
On the SSL tab, I have a Let's Encrypt certificate set up. Force SSL, HTTP/2 Support, and HSTS Enabled.
On the Advanced tab, I have the following:
I probably should add in my docker compose file as well... I'm far from a docker expert. This is reasonably close to their examples and others I found. I removed nginx from in here since we already have a proxy. I disabled all the debug logging because it was using disk space. I also removed all the networking lines because I'm not smart enough to figure it all out right now. If you use this, look out for the < > sections, you need to set your own domain/hostname, and postgres user/password.
There's another post over here https://fernchat.esotericmonkey.com/post/277 with a similar setup, less stuff in the Advanced tab. If I'm bad at explaining maybe another guide will help.
This worked for me, with one note:
and need to be lemmy and password if you're using the stock lemmy.hjson file, or the lemmy_lemmy_1 container will get stuck in a reboot loop. There's no define in the stock file in githubusercontent currently for those, so you have to add them by hand.
For security, you have to change these.