This is something I have been concerned about for a long time, the targeted harassment we tend to face.
I posted a while back about that study that people rate autistic communications 30% below average, and got a lot of flak for that which surprised me
The thing is, this study proves that people can identify autistic traits and instinctively rate the communications of that person lower despite the content being the same as the control group.
So many things make so much more sense here, especially when it ties into the historic targeting of autists by narcissists and sociopaths. And right now we live in a narcissist society, all the top positions of power and wealth are currently held by narcissists
I am so fucking tired of people telling me I'm imagining it, I'm so tired of having my great ideas ignored because "Well what you said is good but we don't like how you said it"
Those in power target us, we have no recourse, and the president just fucking signed an EO making it legal to kidnap us and institutionalize us and NO ONE fucking cares
We fucking built society and INVENTED EVERYTHING and the narcissists take the lions share of the profit as we are marginalized, ignored, and sid
Shit if I had learned earlier in my career they needed platitudes I would have whipped some up. To me they always felt embarrassing to both parties, like there's NO WAY they can't know you're buttering them up.
FUCK I feel that on a visceral level. My career started as helpdesk it took a major toll on my well-being
Thanks for replying, you are the first person on lemmy in like 3 days that just didn't immediately tear into me for some irrelevant fucking thing.
Glad to know I'm not alone in this struggle.
What took me far too long to realize is that most NTs want to be buttered up.
When people do it to me and I know I don't deserve it it makes me feel sick to my stomach, especially if I realize they're doing it to manipulate me into something. And when I do it to others who don't deserve it I KNOW there is no way they can't detect the lack of sincerity in my voice. I mean there CAN"T be! Otherwise everyone would just lie all the time with no consequences.
And I KNOW there are conseuqences for lying so this can't be how the world really works BUT DAMN does it look it
Is that just how NTs work? Bullshitting people and playing on pride to get what you want?
Is that why I've gotten fucking nowhere in life?!
I fucking hate nts so much so fucking much
Living up to your username today I see. I get it. Everyone needs to rant to an understanding party sometimes.
I find it helps to separate intentionally harmful lies from the "social niceties" that are required to grease the wheels of conversation in my head. I'm falsely representing what's happening yes, but it's part of the social rituals required to function in society so I do it anyways.
I've also found it's helpful to focus on the more truthful side of whatever is happening. "I love how much work you put into this" instead of "wow you did such a great job on this" type of difference. Gotta be careful because it can come across as sarcastic, but I usually manage to show sincerity better when I'm actually feeling sincere, so the outright false stuff comes across as sarcastic anyways. Might as well try for a more sincere
And, yeah, at the end of the day, people like hearing good things said about themselves, even if it's not actually true. There's narcissism in that, but given that I can't change that behavior I might as well work with or around it as best I can. If that means more frequent but less sincere compliments, well, I like making a habit of finding the good in people anyways.
I am so fucking done with you unoriginal assholes, try for once to have an original thought
I uh, wasn't trying to be an asshole. I'm sorry it didn't work that way.