Technology
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I am not victim blaming when it comes to what LMG did, they should pay for everything they did, but come on, no normal person is going to slice up a part of their body for a day off work. That screams mental illness.
I really do feel bad for her, but when I hear stuff like that, I don't know how any employer or coworker or friend or even family member is prepared to handle something like that. What do you even say to that? It makes me start asking questions, like what else was she doing for a day off work?
Of course it screams mental illness. This is what happens where people are harassed and belittled constantly. Mental trouble can be and often is caused by external factors. It is called trauma. I've experienced trauma. It makes you do stuff that "screams mental illness" because of course you are not well. You are actively being destroyed from the inside.
You are suggesting that the symptom of her abuse is the cause of her suffering. It's completely backwards. When you put people in an impossible situation and then wave away the things they do to keep control of their life as mental illness you're not only victim blaming, you're demeaning those of us with mental health issues.
Would I have handled it that way? Probably not. But you can't arm-chair diagnose someone with mental health problems just because you don't understand or identify with their choices. It's not right.
In no way were these impossible situations. Before you ask, yes I read the whole thing. I am not covering for LMG, fuck them. If someone there did something to harass her, especially if they see she's struggling, that's just evil and they should pay, but we can't be biased and take all of her words as fact when there are clear issues with her own words full of emotion and not facts.
These are the same reasons I hated on Reddit threads where someone wrote something about someone abusing them in some way and the hive mind jumping in and being 100% on their side and then somewhere down in the comments they reveal that the OP is schizophrenic, or bipolar or suicidal or something to that effect. It's sad and it's tragic, but most of these people have never had to deal with someone with these issues.
When they say they were tossed aside by their family, I always wonder in my head: "How many chances were they given?" "How many lives were destroyed?" "How many people did they hurt with their illness?"
As someone with a schizophrenic and bipolar brother, let me tell you it sucks. The amount of times he has ruined my future, hurt my family, caused me to move houses, put me in debt, and the amount of times we as a family always take him back. It's tiring, my eyes are watering writing this, so let me tell you. We always accept him back, we always suffer and we always hurt.
During his last breakdown, he caused issues at my work, I was forced to move and as a result my wife and 1 year old daughter were homeless for a few days, we are now $12K in debt that I don't know how to pay off and his wife and 2 kids are now living with me because he can't be trusted to take his medication. I do not have mental issues, I do not suffer from depression, I do not hear voices in my head and I do not cut myself to feel or to get a day off. Even though I am not the cause of these problems, I am always the one that pays.
Trust me I may not know what it feels like to have mental illness, but I know what it feels like to interact with someone who does. If someone tells me they have something mentally wrong with them, It's sad to say, but I will just stop all contact with them. I just can't. I don't have it in me for another relationship of any kind with another person that will be a drain on me in any way. Having one brother like this is enough. I just can't do it anymore. I just can't.
You know, I was gonna reply to you with a bunch of information on how to help people and be understanding, patient, and compassionate. But then I read this line and I lost all interest. I'm sorry you've gone through what you have. But this is callous and heartless. Don't project your extreme situation onto the common mental health challenges of others. I hope nobody with mental health challenges - you know, simple stuff like depression or minor trauma responses - ever comes to rely on or trust you. They'll just have their heart broken.
Don't be surprised when your children, spouse, family, or friends do not trust you or share their struggles with you. They will doubtlessly fear that you'll abandon them in a heartbeat once they know this terrible trait of yours
Shame on you for painting all people who struggle with mental health with a single brush.
And since I have my mental health issues (MDD) I'll assume "you just can't" and end our conversation here, for both our sakes
P.S. My wife's best friend when through a rough patch and came out of it with a similar attitude. She tried sharing one of her struggles with PTSD with him, like she used to, and he told her "I need a break from you, you just bring me down all the time" and I saw what that did to her. Made me sick to my stomach
I really am sorry you're going through that, but this also unfortunately proves my point. Good luck with your depression I really hope you have an amazing support system, and don't forget to thank them.
I pick my battles, I'm weak and I don't have it in me to be the support a stranger needs, If I can only give it my all for one person, it's going to be my family. There's just no more room for others, he takes what little I can give.