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this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Relationship Advice
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I have an annuity I got from a malpractice settlement that gives me more than enough to live in the country I'm in.
She does say that it doesn't have to be a way to make money, but she wants me to "develop myself" somehow.
You should do something with your life. If that's walking dogs at the shelter for free, that's fine. That's your 'job' now. Don't let yourself rot away. Do some good somewhere.
Fair enough. I do ride my bike quite a bit and go to the gym, try to make myself better physically. I could probably find at least somewhere where I could help out.
Counterpoint: this word "should" and this whole expectation is very toxic. There is no need to "do something with your life". If you're fine where you are now and how your life is going, then you should keep doing that. Many people want to somehow instill a yearning in you to "get more", but there must be a limit sometime right? You can't always have more? Maybe this is just your point to stop, and you should have a partner who's also fine with this and doesn't suddenly want you to change.
That's just body excercise, what about your mind?
I don't really know. I don't know what kind of things I could do besides volunteering, and that's not really that big of a thing here.
Then I don't know about being an asshole or not, but I think your gf has a point, wouldn't you agree?
I think volunteering is a great idea because it'll help you meet new interestng people while you "work" a job that matters and helps a cause you believe in. Keeps your brain active, you build community, you get something new to talk about with your gf... so many benefits :)
If that’s what she really thinks, it’s cool that she’s not entirely focused on money. Part of me wants to say “if she doesn’t like the way you’re living your life, she can GTFO”, but it’s also good to avoid stagnating.
Consider taking an interesting class at a local community college.