I’m trapped with a shitty bank and won’t go into the reasons here.

This is what happened: I called to pay the bill. The idiot at the bank gave a pay-off quote that included interest charges of less than $2, even though the bill was not due yet. There should be no interest in this case. He would not listen. So I’m like, fuck it, I’ll pay what he quotes and then dispute the interest charge when it comes.

The billing system did the right thing.. did not charge interest. So of course I ended up with a tiny credit <$2. The asshole bank could not just let that small credit sit because there is a business advantage if they zero out all positive balances to increase the chances of a negative the next month. So they mailed a paper check for the credit.

It’s not worth my time and effort to cash a check so small. But I’ll also be damned if I let that be a donation to the bank. So I just sat on the check until it became stale and worthless. The check is bad, but the bank still owes me the money. So then I call the bank to say: hey, don’t bother sending another check, just credit my account with that amount, toward by current balance. The banker refused. In fact, the banker tried to say the money was gone -- that I lose it because it’s my fault the check is bad. I know that’s not how it works. The check goes bad but the debt does not. The bank still owes me the money. Customer service genuinely seemed clueless about that.

I spent 90 minutes on the phone arguing over this. Customer rep had to repeatedly check with management. In the end, the bank still refused to credit the account but they agreed to send another check. WTF. I guess I will just repeat the pattern until they learn.

Customer service is not cheap. Someone once told me what the bank pays per minute on phone support. I don’t recall what the figure was but it was shockingly high. I wonder how much this tiny check will cost the bank as it sits in limbo and causes repeat customer service calls, in a loop.