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What are some tips for handling confrontation at work for someone who’s naturally averse to confrontation? (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

You may want to research emotional intelligence. There's lots of methods you can try but they are not quick to explain. Some examples.

Ask to explain, clarify. Someone made a derogatory comment - call it out. E.g. What do you mean by X? Are you implying that Y?
Dont get angry. Provide clear incentive to act. Increase the cost of failure. Can be as simple as CC relevant person in the email. State clearly what are the expected outcomes. Highlight the risk. Make sure others know what's going on.
Question real reason for the criticism. Is it really something in your control? Ask what they would do in such scenario. Dig into details. Point out gaps

Above all stay calm. The more the other person gets angry and confrontational while you stay calm and professional the better you look in eyes of everyone else. It makes it obvious to others who is the big baby and who can the handle pressure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

A+ advice. I was not taught great conflict resolution skills as a kid and have some neurospiciness that makes regulation challenging at times, but my meds help and I think I’m better equipped emotionally these days than I tend to think of myself as or give myself credit for. Thank you for the advice, this is all A+ insight.

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