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NO DOORS ALLOWED
(lemmings.world)
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this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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That is not all I took away from it. I feel like I was actually pretty extensive in my explanation for why I objected to the practice. It has been studied and behavioral health experts advise against it.
I understand why they chose your door, but that doesn’t mean it was a good decision. There are plenty of other things they could take away. There isn’t some rule that you have to specifically take away the thing that is the source of the problem. Are parents supposed to not feed their kid if they keep dropping food on the ground on purpose? No, that would be a terrible idea.
Slam your door? OK, you can’t go out with your friends tonight. Slam it again? Alright no TV for the weekend. These are pretty standard practices. Most parents do not remove doors for this reason, so clearly there are viable alternatives that don’t potentially harm the emotional and mental development of your children in a pretty well understood way. my son really likes Mario kart, so I typically just take away video games when he won’t stop really bad behavior.
Just because it makes sense to you doesn’t mean it’s a sensible idea.
Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean it's not a sensible idea.
The same behavioral experts I was taken to by my parents? The ones who helped them implement a "family contract" that resulted in one of the most miserable parts of my childhood? The "family contract" that made me resent my parents for many years?
Maybe, just maybe, behavioral health experts are a reflection of the times and their society and because it's fallen out of favor doesn't mean it's bad or doesn't work, just that it's not accepted practice any longer.
Unlike you I didn't make a statement of fact without supporting evidence. I offered up my own, personal, direct experience and how it affected me along with my opinion that context and situation should be a consideration.
I laugh if you think taking away video games or no tv would have worked to stop me from slamming the door. Unsurprisingly, of all the things my parents tried, removing the door so I couldn't slam it was the effective solution.
Yes that is correct, but statement doesn’t work in the reverse/in this context when I have reputable studies behind my statement man. I’m sorry you had a terrible experience with therapy, but I think you know it’s pretty dishonest to hang your hat on that and say “therefore all of behavioral health is a sham and your argument is invalid.”
We’ve clearly moved from a civil discussion to a very painful part of your life and the conversation is degrading rather rapidly. I’d rather not dredge up more miserable memories for you and I certainly don’t want to have this become a bitter argument, so I’m just going to head out now. You have a good rest of your weekend. Sorry you had to suffer through all of that. I hope your recovery is going well.
You have nothing if you don't provide sources besides a claim that you've made. I've seen studies too and every one I've seen specifically references teenagers. There's also studies that say "taking something away" doesn't work, yet you do that by taking away video games.
Taking things away from our kids to help them change their behaviour often looks like taking away privileges, toys, or activities. There are a few reasons why “taking things away” is an ineffective method of discipline.
You'll notice this article cites their sources.
Not against taking things away. I specifically gave examples of taking things away earlier, including from my own son.
My dude let’s just move on. If I start dumping sources in here we’re just going to fight. You can look them up or don’t. Have a good one.
Twice you've avoided sourcing your claims. Why should any third party reading this thread believe what you say? Why should I?
So you don't believe the studies that show your method is ineffective but you do believe the ones you continue to avoid sourcing?
Taking things away from our kids to help them change their behaviour often looks like taking away privileges, toys, or activities. There are a few reasons why “taking things away” is an ineffective method of discipline.
You made a claim of fact and yet refuse to source it so why should I believe some random stranger that their "sources" exist?
In fact, you do the exact thing you're against in a different way. Sure, you don't take your child's door; instead you take something else
I'd love to see your "sources" that state taking a door away from an 8-10 year old is "shattering their trust".
Edit: of course you downvote, still without providing sources.
Hey…I just saw your comment. I did not downvote you. You’re revisiting your comments to check vote counts and throw around accusations in edits, which frankly is just further illustrating why we can’t have a productive conversation.
Have a good one dude. Seriously, cool off.
That's three times you've now avoided providing your "sources".
You're not? I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to provide the studies you to cited. And you clearly downvoted them. Anybody can view votes on Lemmy using lemvotes. They're public on Lemmy, that's why I don't voting either way though I might move to Piefed when lemm.ee goes offline.
Four times you've avoided providing your "sources".
Votes are public on Lemmy. That's how I know you went back and downvoted every one of my comments on this post after I called you out for downvoting my one comment.
You started to deflect and refuse to source your claims after I pointed out your hypocrisy and continue to do so.
You could backup your original claims by posting supporting sources, or you could have phrased your original comment as your opinion, which it seems clear now it was.
If they provide sources your comments are going to look pretty silly.
Maybe, but I don't think the sources exist. Certainly not specific to the situation I described in my anecdote.
I'd love to read them if they're real but I pose this question to you:
If they've read these studies why would the still use a punishment method on their child that's been proven ineffective through those same studies?
I know that current methodology is to use positive reinforcement and feedback methods to deal with children's behavioral issues, why don't they?
I don't know, but it doesn't automatically have to be malicious. Though I agree that citing the specific studies they were talking about would pretty easily put it to rest.
I have told him multiple times that i am for taking away things when kids don’t listen. It doesn’t mean you can take away all things. I feel like I very clearly explained this. I twice referenced taking things away from my son.
He pretends over and over again he didn’t see these comments or he simply isn’t reading what I’m writing, and yet keeps hinging his arguments on my (incorrectly alleged) hypocrisy.
He is clearly not in a state to have a real conversation. I am not going to send him sources just for him to find another vector to attack me from. If he’s interested in this subject he can use his search engine of choice and look at sources he trusts. It is not my job to be his educator and frankly I do not care if either of you believe me.
I’m only commenting here because I can tell you are well intentioned. Have a good rest of your weekend. I have blocked the other dude.