19
Alonso appears in the paddock with a new moustache
(sh.itjust.works)
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Aren't moustaches like go faster stripes. The added confidence outweighs the extra weight.
The 'stache is actually an aero device designed by Adrian Newey. It provides just the right amount of downforce in the low speed corners.
It may not be faster but all the other drivers are off their game because their special ladies are all looking at Fernando.
Are you sure they can even see his dwarf ass?
It's always bottoms with you Americans.