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how can I stop spiralling about my breakup? (lemm.ee)

submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I know I keep posting over and over but I’m in so much pain and I have no one or nowhere to go to when I am sad. I’m trying to channel everything internally without being such a burden and annoyance to people. I keep asking myself “why didn’t he fight for me and his relationship?” “Why am I so easy to be given up on?” “Was I even special to him?” … I cannot stop crying. I feel hopeless right now. When we stopped talking for a couple days and I reached out for closure, he said not speaking for those three days makes him realize he should’ve been more appreciative of me and how hard I tried and all those things. But if he was saying those things then why not turn it around? 😔I sound like a hopeless romantic but I can’t wrap my head around anything anymore… the closure somehow made it worse I guess. I told him I forgive him for anything he thinks he did wrong. He appreciated that. I miss him so much. I miss our memories, I miss his face. Something deep down inside of me feels like I’m going to see his face again but I know that’s false reality. We never even got to talk to each other about these things in person. I just want to cry in his arms.

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[-] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

It’s a fresh wound, and those hurt until they heal. You need to give yourself time. This will sound sexist, but if you were a guy, I’d say you need a good bartender. Not saying the same wouldn’t work for a woman, but being a single woman in a bar kind of opens you up to the kind of attention it sounds like you don’t need, or want, any more of. Still, in lieu of a good friend, just having someone who can hear you vent your pain can be healthy (hence my recommendation for a good bartender - when I was being a detached listener was considered part of the job).

When you’re not venting/working through the pain, try to work on you. Work towards liking/loving yourself.

this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025

119 points (92.2% liked)

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