It isn't washed with soap, but it is washed with water

I... am fairly sure he means 'unwashed' in the sense of 'impure', aka, 'not a virgin'.

Still awful, but... that's how I read this...?

He could also mean both the more literal and more metaphorical meanings simultaneously.

Not sure.

it could have been his point

What other parts aren't meant to be washed? Asking for a friend.

Self cleaning ovens hahahha

Well unwashed for round 2 is kinky