this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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Next time your partner tells someone who didn't already know about the pregnancy, listen carefully to them saying "we're having a baby" and not "I am".
Your biological view of who's carrying is not the same thing, at all, as the joint life-upending experience about to hit both parents. Seeing "having a baby" as something that happens to the woman shows a disassociation/lack of internalization of how both parties are very much involved in this never-ending comittment.
Dont get me wrong, I definitely know you mean. Seeing yourselves as a unity is important and reflecting that in the way you talk can be beneficial, words carry meaning after all.
But, I heavily disagree that you can deduce someones devotion to a relationship or their ability to be a parent from a single sentence posted in a joke. And even if someone does not talk like that at all, they can still feel differently.
Also, funny you mention my wife, because she talks in a very peculiar way. Most often, when talking about herself or her pregnancy, she would say things like "your back hurts" or "you have nausea" like in a general sense, but it only applies to herself. I sometimes say "you mean you do" or something, but she doesnt even realize which words she uses. Not everyone forms sentences like a mathematical equation. I know I do, thats why its been difficult to understand that others dont necessarily and that brains work in different ways.