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this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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My mother telling me I should not think that she makes any money with me. (Backstory: Was living with her, dad paid ~~alimony~~ child support). I was baffled, because even when I lowkey suspected that, it was not even a relevant thing for our conversation at this time.
A few years later, when I wanted to move out for studying it was suddendly a problem, because she could not make the full payments for her house without the ~~alimony~~ child supprt from my dad. So I stayed.
Some more years down the line I finally wanted to move out, as I had a full time job in sight and wanted to live with my boyfriend. I was in my mid-twenties. Basically the conversation was the same as before, she could not pay for her house without me. She could not answer my question how she thought this would work out. Was she expecting me to live with her until she paid for the house? Because this would be up until my forties, maybe longer. The house is not big enough for two families, so it was never an option for me and my bf to move in. Of course I moved out.
Child support would happen if you lived with one parent and the other parent pays.
Alimony (as far as I know) has nothing to do with having a kid there or not.
So I’m not sure why her alimony would change if you move out. It would change if she got remarried.
Alimony, also known as spousal support or spousal maintenance, is a court-ordered financial payment made from one spouse to another during or after a divorce. Its purpose is to help the recipient maintain a similar standard of living to what they had during the marriage. The amount and duration of alimony are determined by a judge based on various factors, including the length of the marriage, the financial circumstances of both spouses, and their ability to support themselves (this paragraph copied from Google).
Ah sorry, this was an phrasing error on my side. I meant child Support! Will correct that.
No problem on the phrasing.
I've seen things like what you describe where the parent was using the child support in that manner. Becomes a real problem when the kid leaves home. Always interesting when the one paying child support stops the payment to the ex and starts giving it to the kid (because they are going to college). Suddenly the kid sees who's really helping and who isn't.
Exactly. For me it was relatively clear the older I got, as my father had to give me pocket money and pay for my extracuricullars on top of child support. I was not eating much (smallish, lean, not really sport oriented) and was getting some new clothes maybe twice a year, one time mostly as part of my birthday present.