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There is the python provided by APE/cosmo. They also have two other distributions containing various goodies, pypack1, and pypack2. https://cosmo.zip/pub/cosmos/bin/
I don't care about android support, but for the competition, and I don't really know about Windows support. Right now, RDP is used to authenticate and managed the machines, but maybe a portable VNC we can quickly spin up, so more than one person can be on the same machine, would be useful.
My original thought was to replace in place, insecure services with secure one's via something like docker containers or nix. But I think many of the machines have too little ram bundled libraries for the services to be viable. I actually tested replacing apache, but it simply wouldn't launch (I think the machine only had 2 GB of ram?).