Late Stage Capitalism

What the unholy fuck did you just spout about Stalin, you little shit? I graduated Valedictorian from the CIA's top-secret Super Spy School located in an undisclosed subterranean base under a McDonald's. I’ve been involved in covert raids on regimes you don't even know existed, and I have over 10,000 confirmed takedowns. You think you can just spew that commie crap and skate by? Think again, fucker. As we fucking speak, I'm sending out my clandestine network of spies (and some extremely pissed off squirrels) across the damn planet to trace your sorry ass. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life is fucking coming, kiddo. I'm a force of nature, buddy. I can manifest anywhere, anytime, and I can turn your world upside down in over seven hundred ways—and that's without even unleashing the CIA's secret weapon stash, which I happen to have VIP access to. You think you know danger? Ha! I once defused a nuclear bomb using just a rubber chicken and a spork. Ever tried to dodge a bullet after a ten-shot espresso? No? Well, gear the fuck up! If you could have fucking known what unholy retribution your little "clever" praise was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would've held your fucking tongue. But you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will rain fury all over you and you will fucking drown in it.