Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
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I tend to view the types of people who strongly identify and present themselves as straight to be people that are living in a state of near absolute hypocrisy. Their actions are often the opposite of what they say. This really spreads out and changes the people and culture around them.
When looking at modern masculinity, how often do these contradictions appear? So many men feel they must present themselves as strong and emotionless yet are quick to express explosive anger. It's as if anger does not exist as an emotion to them. But anger is an emotion.
Then while feeling hurt and angry, they will point to anyone else who feels their own hurt and anger and accuse those other people of being something less than a man. All while feeling the same types of emotions.
Dominance and submission is also an interesting part of the masculinity confusion. Men are often told or shown examples of men who are strong and independent. So they want to be strong and independent. And they say they are strong and independent.
Then they are told to be loyal and that they must respect their elders, especially the men. Now that strength and independence must submit to their elders. Everything they are told to be gets cancelled out by how they think they must act. They can scream in your face that they are men, they are strong and they are independent, yet cower at presence of a man who they see as someone with authority and power.
This view that I have of people who strongly see themselves as straight gets very weird and very uncomfortable when you start applying it to sex, sexuality and kinks. Think "virile, black stallion" or cuckoldry for example.
I've reached a point where I personally no longer view those who identify themselves as gay to be gay. They are simply people doing people things. Because they are simply people, nothing more, nothing less. Those who use the word gay as an attack are often everything they are afraid to being. Which is sad because there's nothing wrong with loving another person.
Living in such a constant state of hypocrisy is confusing. For everyone. To be a man, you are very much at a war with everyone including yourself. To be on the outside of masculinity, you are forced into a war with people who are at war with everyone including themselves. It's exhausting because this war is fueled by everyone else's time, energy and patience.