Generally, losers learn it at home. They can generally also learn to be chill people when removed from the environment that allows it, which is why people are usually so aggressively pushing therapy on the dolts and they end up claiming absolutely insane shit that “I did therapy once and it made everything worse”

They gotta get out of the shame/self hatred hole and can’t do it themselves and it’s really easy to turn shame into anger at others, rather than the actual fix of turning it into acceptance.