Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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Even on my obscure setup (NetBSD nvmm virtual machine running on NetBSD host using zfs) I get decent performance with PostgreSQL, and minimal PHP opcache and redis tuning. One thing is not to use too many php-fpm processes. I host a small private server for family and friends, and usually limit the number of processes to 8. The VM has 8 GB of RAM and 10 CPU cores, but the cores are slow by today's standards.
Very long delays on otherwise decent hardware (i. e. anything newer than 10 years) always smell of DNS problems, if the symptom is a very long wait time with nothing happening, and then a reasonably fast page rendering / UI loading.
I'm quite happy with the performance, although some of the regular tasks seem to consume excessive amounts of "system" CPU time. But response time and preview rendering are all acceptable.