I (20m) have a friend G, (19f) who I met at my college some months ago. she is very nice and kind and we both have a similar belief of things current so we mostly talk when we can on the phone or at school with plans to meet up after school is over.
recently while I was cooking with my brother I mentioned I wanted to take an egg roll or two for G to try since I know that she likes Chinese food almost as much as me. my brother asks me "what has G done for you? has she brought you food?" this made me doubt everything. I've shared my food with her at lunch two times both times she liked it and mentioned she wanted to come to my house to eat. I don't know about her home situation or anything like that I do know she works at a pizza hut and makes money for school that way but other than that and that her sister likes makeup I don't know anything.
I am having doubts about if I'm doing too much for someone I met not too long ago and that my efforts aren't being resciporated. I've always been raised to pay back what you are given "someone gives you 20$ you give them 30$ next week, if you can't do that don't take the money" sort of mentality.
Can I get your thoughts and opinions since you guys are strangers and can approach it objectively?
thanks to anyone who weighs in your opinions and thoughts are welcome.
In addition to what the other commenter's have mentioned, I'll say that everyone has different ways of showing affection. One of yours seems to be sharing food, but that's not something everyone would do. Is she showing you affection in other ways? Does she encourage you with the things she says? Does she make you laugh? Is she physically affectionate? Does she make a specific point to spend time with you? It's possible that she's reciprocating in other ways.
I'll also add that your reciprocal attitude is well-intentioned, but might lead you to a life of resentment if you hold it too tightly. Remember that everyone--including you and your family--have received good things from people for whom you have never returned the favor. And you'll likely do the same for others at some point. If things get serious with this person and the relationship feels completely one-sided, then that's something to evaluate--but don't expect every little act of affection to be reciprocated in kind. Look for overall patterns of behavior, don't put too much stock in any one thing.