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Anon orders food (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 years ago by [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 20 points 2 years ago (7 children)

I think the difference is that this isn't catcalling. If women's compliments towards men were the same as men's compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that men don't get compliments often, and often they stick with them, but generally those are complements and not catcalls.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 years ago (6 children)

    If women’s compliments towards men were the same as men’s compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it.

    Nah.

    Every time I've ever heard of an experiment where indignant women do/say to men the exact same things that they hate getting from men, they're always astonished to see the men's reactions as practically universally positive:

    If the goal of the experiment was to make men feel the weird combination of creeped-out and ashamed that comes with everyday objectification, then the experiment failed. Instead, these fellas look flattered and expectant. You can practically see them plotting the nearest route to the cheapest hotel.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    Forgive me if I don't think two comedians making a skit counts as a study. The camera is clearly visible and the women don't seem to be credible at all and are clearly playing it for laughs. Often, catcalling happens to women who are alone and by men who could physically overpower them with no sense of it being funny or a joke. I mean, it's kinda gross that they did this regardless, but I don't really see it as a one to one. It's hard to explain the feeling of concern that women are raised to have when it comes to being targeted by men, and it would be hard to put a man in a situation that mimicked that considering they have not been bombarded by stories of women stalking/raping/murdering men who they only saw in passing. Here's women being "politely catcalled": https://youtube.com/shorts/LNxf74FXyAs

    Again, played for laughs with a visible camera and similar reactions from women as the men in your video.

    The guys doing catcalling get upset when called out and admit they wouldn't want it to happen to their family: https://youtu.be/jDoVckC6NhA

    Do I think men don't get as many compliments? Yes. But men can solve that themselves. Give each other compliments. https://youtube.com/shorts/aWLr03PJiuA

    If these guys were catcalled by each other I have a feeling they wouldn't like it.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I hate to say it, but I think that might be one of those differences that actually is inherent due to biology. Ultimately, women can only benefit reproductively from one partner at a time, whereas men can benefit reproductively from as many as will have them. Therefore, women are only interested in compliments from a prospective partner they might actually choose, while men are happy to receive any expression of interest.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago

    I appreciate your take, but that's not really the case. Women are open and receptive to compliments. Even from strangers, but the tone and context matter more since women have been socialized to fear unknown, especially aggressive men. Someone yelling their feelings about your body at you does not generally signal someone is a safe person. Here's my response to the above comment: https://reddthat.com/comment/17768408

    It has a link to women being politely catcalled and they seem ok with that. I know that I have personally received compliments from men that I was not interested in or with whom there was no real possibility of connection, and that's been fine. Generally the problem is tone and context.

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