681
Anon is worried about men (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago by [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 9 points 1 year ago (1 child)

So walk away from them, or handle it gracefully somehow. It's the same as trying to make a friend. Doesn't everyone make friends from time to time?

Interest + effort = relationship of any kind. Find the shared interest, make a little bit of effort.... or don't and the math doesn't work. If romance doesn't come, you've made a friend.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Enough negative experiences reinforce and define behavior.

    This is true for any being with a nervous system.

    IDK why you think every individual magically changing is something realistic.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago*

    Enough negative experiences reinforce and define behavior.

    Unless you don't let them.

    IDK why you think every individual magically changing is something realistic.

    To be honest, it doesn't sound like you want to change. You are so resistant to it.

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  • [–] -3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    If every individual you approach gives you a lecture you might want to check out not being around those people. Try something different.

    I've never, ever gotten a lecture. I've been married for about four years, but before the pandemic I picked up 4 women in a year that led to relationships of months before I ended them when I realized there wasn't enough there to keep me interested. Don't get me wrong, i've been dumped plenty and rejected plenty. I just learned to move on from the rejection.

    It's like job hunting, it's a numbers game and every time you try you have a chance. Every time you don't try nothing changes.

    I just can't imagine being lectured just by approaching someone and saying hi, asking them a question that is pertinent to the scenario, and giving them a chance to speak.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    You haven't tried dating GenZ women then.

    They specifically tell you not to approach women in public.

    And you know good and well that asking someone on a date is nowhere close to saying hi. Stop lying to yourself to feel right it's embarrassing XD

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    If you're approaching strangers and asking them for a date and you aren't an adonis, wealthy or otherwise instantly recognizable in a positive way, you're gonna get some real negative responses. No one wants some rando just asking them out, but this is not new, this is why if you go to a bar you have a wing man - being solo looks creepy.

    It's true though that I wouldn't have dated women who are 28 or younger (seems to be the oldest of gen Z.) I'm 40. Even though i'm of another generation it's basically been a 10% chance or less to approach someone and ask them out... but again if you don't try it never happens. Most people are in a relationship ALL the time... the best relationships i've found have been by making friends first in real world circumstances (board game meetups, parties, work functions/events, hiking meetups, running meetups... you name it..) and then being friendly and literally making friends with people. If you click with someone you can literally feel it, and if you like them enough then after you're already at least friendly acquaintances you ask them to something.

    If you can't ever make friends at a meetup or event, especially one that invites strangers and often has newcomers, the problem is you.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    Sounds like a lot of games and manipulation that is way less intuitive than equal relationships.

    Women don't like it when men try to date them by pretending to be their friend. If you go into new hobbies trying to date people then that's what your motives are, so why lie?

    I'm glad men are adopting the same standards as women. Now women will need to learn to initiate relationships, and our society can move twoards a more equal one.

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  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Games and manipulation? what the fuck are you talking about?

    It's about hanging out with people in a non dating scenario, getting to know them, then seeing if they are interested after you both know each other a bit. You don't go in cold. You don't try to "pick up" women this way, this is a way to meet all kinds of people in a neutral setting with no strings attached for anyone. It's like a safe fucking space and if someone you find attractive gives you the eyes or invites you out on the side it can work. I know. I almost married a girl who invited me to her place for food 1:1 after a few board game meetups. I wasn't going there for the fucking women, I went for friends and fun.

    By being in a group social scenario everyone is expecting to socialize and meet new people. You're sharing an interest, which means you're likely to be friends anyway and at least compatible on a social level - and the non-sexual components of relationships are basically the only fucking ones that matter long term. Shared values and shared interests are what make relationships work. Sexual attraction doesn't keep a marriage going when your 2 year old is up screaming at 2am because your 2 month old infant woke up for a feeding.

    But anyway, keep spouting your weirdo white knight shit about how just talking to women like human beings is bad. The problem is you. It's not normal to think about harassing women when you're going in to simply meet and get to know people.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I have literally said that to a woman and she said that making friends with women with the intention to date them is a shitty thing to do.

    It even counts as being creepy and manipulate if you didn't intend for it to be, because the behavior is.

    But tell yourself whatever makes you feel right incel.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago

    The thing is if you're going into the situation to date them you're doing it wrong.

    I'm literally saying go in and treat them like human beings, just like you'd treat anybody. The point is not to go in with the mentality of sleeping with them. The point is to go in making friends. Romance comes naturally just by interacting with single people in social settings.

    This is the disconnect. I'm saying do not go in to sleep with them, and you are thinking it as the objective behind all of it. Sure, maybe, if it happens great, but that's not the point. I went to meetups like that when I was single because they were fun and got me out from thinking about the problems of life, exes and work. It got me into all kinds of events I never would have gone to if I were not in those circles.

    I can't imagine going out with the objective of finding someone to date. That's creepy and manipulative, just like you're saying. This is why people lecture you, because you're not trying to make friends - you're just looking to fuck.

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  • [+] -21 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    it's just that you're fragile and a disgrace. it's revolting. the fascists are taking over. grow some confidence. we need heroes, not insecure little boys. you know what will get you laid real quick? bashin the fash.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    Yes, fragility is disgracefvll veakness. To defeat the enemy ze men mvst be strong, zey mvst be heroes, zey must have vill to seize vhat zey vant. It vill to pover zat vill tvrn little boys into strong men. Zis is antifascism.

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