this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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The thing is if you're going into the situation to date them you're doing it wrong.
I'm literally saying go in and treat them like human beings, just like you'd treat anybody. The point is not to go in with the mentality of sleeping with them. The point is to go in making friends. Romance comes naturally just by interacting with single people in social settings.
This is the disconnect. I'm saying do not go in to sleep with them, and you are thinking it as the objective behind all of it. Sure, maybe, if it happens great, but that's not the point. I went to meetups like that when I was single because they were fun and got me out from thinking about the problems of life, exes and work. It got me into all kinds of events I never would have gone to if I were not in those circles.
I can't imagine going out with the objective of finding someone to date. That's creepy and manipulative, just like you're saying. This is why people lecture you, because you're not trying to make friends - you're just looking to fuck.