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this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost
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I've definitely got some bleak ass humor with some friends in private but forwarding messages people sent you in private to other people and group chats? Really?
I have had this exact talk with my kids repeatedly and probably will again ''the internet is a PUBLIC place, if you wouldn't do or say things you wouldn't be comfortable doing in the quad at school or in the middle of Walmart, DON'T do it online."
Depends on context. Maybe I'm not reading the OP right, but if it's in the context of "yo guys what do I say" it's different from "yo guys look how desperate she is lmao"
If you're ever concerned that your private messages will get leaked, why send it? That seems like a you issue for trusting them.
The abuse of trust is the problem there, not the trust itself...
There's no scenario where you're not the a-hole if you're going to parrot something someone else told you in private, elsewhere.
I can think of several, including the one being described in the original post
I think you think I'm agry with the wrong person. Who do you think my statement was directed against?
Explain to me me how "someone told you in private" would ever apply to this Derek character leaking a group chat. What is private about a group chat?
Obviously I'm talking about the guy that forwarded juicy messages someone sent him privately to his buddies in this leaked group chat.
Even though I don't think my original comment leaves much wiggle room for interpretive play, maybe I could have explained better. But maybe you're a bit too eager to find people to recreationally chastise.
Seems like the finger should be pointed at you for being so naive and trusting someone so blindly?
And reading the post, you telling me if OP was sending nudes of his girlfriend to a group chat, Derrick is the asshole here?
Yeah alright.
My problem was not with Derrick?
Yeah that's my line. Something someone told you in confidence is a shit thing to make fun of them for, forwarding it to friends is another level.
Derek's lame but they were shit too
Nah fuck that.
If your comment was so bad that a person you both trust and respected was like, "WTF" to expose it, that's on you.
The whole meToo movement is based on this. Just "locker room" talk to some, but deeply disgusting sexual harassment from a small group and behavior to the other 90%.
I meant that the guys in the chat were scum for for sharing their SO dms with each other.
Agreed. Was referring to the messages their SO's sent them they then talked in the chat about
That's scum
Isn't that what Derek just did to him? Feels bad I guess ;D
I text my friends offensive shit too, but imo the only reason you can consider them funny is because it's the exact opposite of who i am. Like i don't even really swear irl. But shit like forwarding private messages or bullying real people is so disgusting to me. I often talk to girls from tinder, and they sometimes send me screenshots of people from tinder to make fun of them. Instant turn off and block.
If you're sharing it privately, that's your true self, the version of you unfiltered and able to avoid the consequences of actually saying it.
Not if, but when it gets exposed by a Derek, will people look at you differently?
You just discovered something important about yourself.
This is an over generalization. How can you support that this is true other than for yourself alone?
Sometimes the unfiltered things I discuss in private are for the purpose of getting feedback. A brainstorming space without any of the regular inhibitions censoring free thought. I’m not looking for affirmation, but genuinely want to see what the unfiltered feedback would be, and am ready to change my option on a dime.
Take this to the next level: you do this in your own mind / imagination before you speak. You think things that you don’t say. So is everything in your mind, even things you think are wrong and choose not to express, your true self? And you should be ashamed of shameful thoughts?
Also what do you even mean by “true” self? If I act differently around different groups of people, which one is true?
Gonna share this again
This commenter said it best:
This is a terrible take. Obviously, I can say something offensive to a friend that they would find funny exactly because they know I don't mean it seriously.
Saying that is some kind of "reflection of my true self" is honestly just dumb. I'm saying the offensive thing because I find it offensive myself, and because I would never say it to someone I don't trust to understand that.