No Stupid Questions
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That is the definition of a democracy, no representative voting?
If your representatives aren't in any way obligated to vote in accord with the wishes or best interests of the people they represent then it's definitely not any kind of democracy
Well neither are your representative congressmen. Following that reasoning, only direct democracy is democracy?
No, representative democracy works when the system is designed to actual require representatives to do that, to represent their constituents. The US does not do that.
Most representative democracies have no requirement for representatives to actually vote accordingly to their voters interests. This is called the free mandate.
So the electorate college works in the same way. I vote for a middle man which I trust to vote accordingly with my wishes. The electoral college is a dumb system no doubt, but it isn't necessarily non-democratic