Hence all the ifs. But hey, the competition isn't fierce! Put the slightest effort into being self-aware, respectful, and charming and you can easily get her attention.

There's a whole ... sliver of us! I may not even be speaking of the royal "we"!

Would two circles on top of each other, but offset by 2 micrometers still count as a Venn diagram?

You mean singular circle?