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Hexbear Proposals chapo.chat matrix room.

This will be a place for site proposals and discussion before implementation on the site.
Every proposal will also be mirrored into a pinned post on the hexbear community.

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Suggestion/discussion: Should we add "incel" to the no-no word list? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I don't know, but this comment from @[email protected] has given me some stuff to think about.

People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn't either.

This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn't get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn't, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel ("If so many terrible people have sex and you can't, that must mean you are worse than they are!").

I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.

Once again, please assume good faith, even if you disagree with the take. If you think I mean something weirdly reactionairy by this post, ask me wether that is what I mean, instead of just saying that's what I mean please.
I don't want this to become a strugglesession, I just feel like this would be a good discussion to have. If this does become hostile, then please lock/remove it mods.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I think that occasionally discussion about incels and incel adjacent things around here and elsewhere can veer into a sort of heavy handed dismissiveness of people who struggle to navigate sexual and/or romantic relationships, and it's important we do our best to make sure comrades aren't catching strays here for that sort of thing. But "Incel" used properly (ie not as a synonym for "virgin loser") is, I think, a term whose connotations are specific enough and broadly understood enough that I don't think we need to tiptoe around using it.