this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2025
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I don't know, but this comment from @[email protected] has given me some stuff to think about.

People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn't either.

This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn't get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn't, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel ("If so many terrible people have sex and you can't, that must mean you are worse than they are!").

I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.

Once again, please assume good faith, even if you disagree with the take. If you think I mean something weirdly reactionairy by this post, ask me wether that is what I mean, instead of just saying that's what I mean please.
I don't want this to become a strugglesession, I just feel like this would be a good discussion to have. If this does become hostile, then please lock/remove it mods.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Tons of groups use slurs to describe themselves. Especially reactionaries who will call themselves "autistic" or the r-word or the like. That a group uses a word as a descriptor does not mean it becomes acceptable. We could easily just call them misogynists or the like.
I don't think it's a 1:1 comparison and I don't want to say I don't see your point either, I get what you mean. I lean towards your view as well, or did until I read that comment.

There's also the question of how many incels we interact with here compared to how many comrades who get hurt by us using "not having sex" as a derogatory.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How is the word incel a slur?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It can be a derogatory as explained in the body text.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Uhh, just because something is derogatory doesn't mean it's a slur. For example: cracker is not a slur.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I guess I haven’t ever seen the word used to insult someone for not having sex.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

100% happens though.