TL;DR no records found. Either HB really is a bunch of libs or I didn't word the request well enough. Never done one of these before.
I can't tell if this is a bit but I did this by the request of another user and it's a request for info, not a tip line. I mean HB is a public, anonymously readable social media site I promise I'm not letting them in on some kind of secret. And in any case had it returned results I think it definitely would've been in HB's collective interest to know.