this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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I had a very long and intense dream last night about a month long high school exchange trip to China gone very awry...
descriptions
It was constantly grey and bleak, we didn't go anywhere with nature and had to camp en masse on the school grounds, on large concrete yards under shitty tarps like refugees, fight to use the showers and protect one's own shampoo and soap at all costs. And at least a thousand of the school's own, local students had to sleep in similar configurations but with slightly nicer tents. We had school from 8-5 every weekday, were expected to study and do homework in the evenings, chores all of Saturday, and would only sometimes be allowed out on Sunday. The nearest city looked like it hadn't changed since the 80s and was suppressed under a permanent layer of smog. Come to think of it it's like smartphones didn't even exist in that dream. So maybe it was the communist 80s? Lots of brown, tartan patterns, burgundy... But no matter how miserable we were, the absolute best of us was expected during class, alongside the school's richer students who lived at home and were always very well prepared and neatly turned out.It's now nearly 7pm and I can't shake how subtly unsettled it made me feel for absolutely no reason at all. And the smell of laundry powder just brought it all back. Like I actually went through that? Something in me feels like I really should've done something about the situation but it makes no sense.
Urgh. The ‘real’ dreams are the worst. It must have been the night for it.
spoiler
I had a really vivid dream last night about a serial killer and rapist terrorising all of Melbourne. My dream was about the news coverage of it and how he kept evading all the security cameras around Melbourne and all they could capture were shots of his shoes and cap.There was nothing particularly directly threatening to myself in the dream, and the events of dream itself was pretty mundane, but the sense and feeling that I wasn’t safe just living my life was enough to have me waking up in a sweat.
Oh god, it's particularly bad when it hits close to home and you might recognise landmarks around you from the dream. It's that feeling of not being safe that is so discomforting and unsettling, particularly when it's completely illogical but feels so real. It's like your body experienced it on some level and has to process it while asleep?
I don't know if exposure to traumatic personal stories (or experience of such trauma in families) activates some kind of bodily memory, even though we know that threat won't ever be relevant to our lives because of distance and/or time.
I just wonder where it comes from at all? Absolutely nothing that I’ve done/watched/read/whatever recently seems linked. Why did my brain pull that out?
Same with my dream, for the most part. I've been having lots of weird high school dreams lately tbh. Brain's interpretation of how to deal with anxiety juice coursing through the veins?