my friend husband's died

You think you're the only one who's lost people?

You think you're the only person who's lost someone this week?

I don't think you understand the severity of the situation. Take your loss. Add your wife's loss. Add your wife's friend's loss. Let's take the grief, pain and anger you personally feel, and let's say the sum is something like 5x that amount. Try to imagine that (spoiler alert: you can't; your brain is literally incapable of producing that much sadness juice at any one time, but let's pretend.) Okay, now multiply that feeling by 100 times. That's not even the amount of pain going on in Gaza right now. You keep talking about yourself like the decision isn't something that affects the entire world. Your pain is less than 1/1'000'000'000 of the consequences that went into the consideration. You want comfort? Go somewhere else. But you don't want comfort; you want other people to be even more miserable and you want to win because you feel powerless. I can understand that, and I don't really think less of you for it, but you've still made a shit argument and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.