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Half as Hot (mander.xyz)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/science_memes@mander.xyz
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[–] 17 points 2 years ago (3 children)

A good genie would instantly invent a metric of "number of degrees in excess of room temperature"

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  • [–] 28 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I think it's fairly well known that there are no good genies. But otherwise, true.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    For a present, I think it would be fun to have a contract lawyer draft up an ironclad 3 wishes contract

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  • [–] 7 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    I was kind of thinking along the same lines. But to be truly ironclad, would you need a genie lawyer? Like not a lawyer who specialized in Genie Law, but an actual genie?

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    This is why I hire my attorneys from Avernus. Don't nobody got lawyers like Hell has lawyers. If you're trying to pull one over on a genie, you're going to need either devils or fae. And the devils are more likely to respect their contract, including any loopholes you manage to find in it.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    Considering making a wish on a shooting star? Been granted a wish scroll by an obnoxious DM? Give a lamp a handjob only for it ejaculate a genie? Then you need the services of Nine Hells Legal! Our prestigious law firm can draft up an ironclad wish for all your mortal needs! No loopholes guaranteed or your soul back.

    All fees to be paid in souls. Retainer fees are nonrefundable. The souls of the sacrificed and those otherwise deemed to fall within the purview of Hell are nonrefundable. "Nine Hells Legal" is a wholly owned trademark of Sir Asmodeus, esq. The archduke of the Nine Hells.
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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    Which room though?

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    what, you never heard of the room temperature room?

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    It's a room made from platinum-iridium, and kept in a triple-locked vault at the International Bureau of Weights and Measures in France.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    unfortunately, opening the door changes the temperature, so in practice instruments are calibrated from copies of the room built at other metrology institutions around the world.

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