Asklemmy

43761 readers

1219 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

201

what would be the best way to tell your supervisor to stop inquiring about your personal life and mobbing you into opening up? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

55 comments fedilink hide all child comments

my supervisor is an extrovert, whereas I'm an introvert. She feels insulted if I don't share my personal life with her and ridicules me before other coworkers because I separate private and work life and prefer to keep to myself.

I wrote mobbing because that's what it feels to me: a ritual of hers is to always eat together, a time she uses to ask me questions I don't want to answer. I usually answer very vaguely, which is not enough for her. If I eat alone, she'll complaint about why am I being so unfriendly.

She doesn't understand I need time alone to unwind.

She is convinced she is doing me a favor, but the opposite is true. It makes me dislike her even more.

I simply cannot win. It's tiring being blamed and shamed for preferring to read a book instead of talking about dogs or sex.

It makes me want to quit.

I don't know if I go to HR with an issue like this, because they may label me the odd one, the one who's not a teamplayer and use it against me.

Most people are extroverted and react angrily to somebody who keeps to himself and I've been bullied several times for this. Extroverts don't seem to understand that not showing interest in their sexual lives doesn't mean disrespect, but simply that I don't care about it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Remember to look into his eyes

I don't know if it's some neurodivergence or if other introverts feel the same way, but that is something I personally find very difficult and uncomfortable and I can't hold eye contact for more than a second or two at a time. What feels natural to me is to look at a person's mouth when they talk.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Would it help if i told you that you are staring at meat?

Sure hes a man, or woman, but first and foremost meat.

Sometimes this meat yells, sometimes this meat looks at you.

But lets all keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, that any interlocutor be it beast or man is just meat.

You probably cooked meat also, just saying.

So take your time admiring the meat, stare in what it thinks it's soul is in, his personal comfort be damned!

Just dont take this advice as an excuse to dehumanise this person of course, as I heard some meats hold a scary skeleton within. But hey, you cant see that most of the time, its meatgavanza for now!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Not sure what that's supposed to help with. I'd be even more uncomfortable if my steak had eyes and made eye contact than when a person does it.