this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2024
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If you're in a reasonably sized company, do NOT go to HR. She might get fired for her behavior, you WILL be fired for starting a fire. HR does NOT like fires.
I had the good fortune to battle the CTO of a multinational who couldn't keep his hands off the employees. Everyone was too afraid to speak up, I was not. The CTO was fired. One day after he fired me with the full support of HR, because "you are incompetent in your job". Mind you this was after multiple stellar reviews of my local superiors
Like I said, whether you should go to HR will depend a lot on your company culture. In all the jobs I've worked, I've had HR departments that would've taken your complaint seriously and not allowed you to be retaliated against in that way. Btw, what you're describing does sound like retaliation, which is totally a lawsuit you could pursue
This is terrible advice.
OP needs to set boundaries in a paper traceable way after establishing then in person (an email of "dear boss lady, I want to eat lunch alone, kthxbye"), and track violations of those boundaries (dear boss lady, today you sat with me at lunch after I asked you not to, please explain why). (Obviously be more professional).
Then after a few violations, OP can go to HR because suddenly the boss lady is starting the fire; there is a clear history of personal boundaries not being maintained, leading to a hostile work environment.
This only doesn't work when the company is like 5 people and HR is your boss's cousin or whatever.